So What Day is it Anyway?

Rather than days of the week or weekends, morning, night or evening, the last three weeks have been a succession of challenges, events, moments and occasions punctuated by eating and sleeping.

Yesterday morning, when everyone at my house slept in and no one went to work or school, felt just like a Saturday. The afternoon, with the funeral and reception, felt like a Sunday but then last evening's celebration of my brother's life for 75 of his closest friends and family felt very Friday - ish.

Yesterday is a blur of hundreds of hugs, even more photographs (My brother may well have enjoyed the most well documented life in history!) and more of his hockey memorabilia. The Eulogies (there were three) prompted many tears but also lots and lots of laughs. The Priest who presided over the event couldn't have done a better job in his characterizations of this still young man's life and death. The food at the reception - expertly organized by my brother's girlfriend and a small team of his buddies wives even featured his favourite desserts and framed photos of his house and the yard where he hosted many gatherings for his friends. All in all the funeral marked an ending to his death and a point of beginning to focus on our memories of the life he truly lived to its fullest. What more can you ask for in a funeral?

Now I've heard that today is Tuesday but it feels utterly Monday-like. as we put this train we call our life back on the rails.

I told my mom last week that this day - the day after what feels like "everything" will be our chance to try to turn back a bit to our own household routines. Once underway, routine can be very comforting in its predictability and require very little effort to keep going. After weeks of working on graciously living in the moment while being ever ready for the challenge of the next development - on high alert and mellow all at once, all the time - my mom, in particular, will need to stand down and take a break. As ever, I'll be keeping a close eye on her as will her wonderful sister. Between us we'll make sure the sadness of the days ahead doesn't utterly overwhelm, as all of the impact of the new reality sinks in.

Mourning will go on - I know from experience there's no stopping it. Work must also continue to close up the home come hospice of my brother's house. Nonetheless we all need to take a breath, figure out what day of the week it is, what time of day we find ourselves in and reacquaint ourselves with living after so much time focused on dying.

At a more mundane, less poetic level I need to reacquaint myself with the washer and dryer - Monday, Tuesday, whatever - in our house today, its GOT to be laundry day!


Sandra said...

again, I feel for your loss, but it sounds like his memorial was a real tribute to his life. Mourning will always go on - I'm in year 13 of my Dad's passing, and it's still there.
Good for you for looking out for your Mom - she'll need the support.

Michele said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. What a terrible day yesterday for a funeral, almost as if heaven was sharing your grief.
I know I always expected the world to be different following such a loss because my life was so incredibly different. The routine of laundry and cleaning and cooking will feel very welcome in the coming days. Don't forget your mother might also need to be able to do things in the coming weeks. My deepest sympathy to you all.

Brenda said...

I too am always amazed at how the world carries on when in my own personal life, such momentous things are happening. It seems strange that it could be so. But as the others have said, routine is comforting. Take care of your Mom and take care of yourself.